My Bigger Boy

I have devoted a couple months now to talking about the life of my little boy. I now want to talk for a minute about my bigger boy.

I met Noah when he was five months old. I was babysitter/friend/nanny/playmate/partner-in-crime for a few years before I moved to Pittsburgh for med school. I always talked about him so much that when Dave and I met, Dave thought "my boy Noah" might actually be my son. When I met him, he's didn't even sit up on his own. Now he's graduated from fifth grade and had a poem published in the Harvard Educational Review. I'm bursting with pride.

Of course, I've always known he was brilliant. He met just about every milestone early, and taught me all sorts of valuable mommy lessons along the way.

1) Just because it's in the book, doesn't mean it will work for your child. - I used exactly once the trick of saying "good-bye" and walking away when he was refusing to leave the place where we were playing. He was supposed to run after me, but three year old Noah looked up from his sandcastle, smiled happily, and waved. "Bye Nana! Tell mommy boy stay beach by self!" And so I dragged him kicking and screaming from the beach instead.

2) Nothing is better than being hugged around the knees and being told "You're my best."

3) It's important to keep perspective when a child tells you they want to throw you in the trash. Chances are you have earned their wrath by preserving one of their vital physical features. Besides, they'll be your best friend again soon.

4) Think of popcorn as a vegetable and it makes a fine dinner. Subtext: pick your battles.

5) No one can plan a felony like a pre-schooler.
Nana (Jen): How can we get one of these cool swing sets?
Noah: I can make some money.
Nana: (thinking employment) How are you going to do that?
Noah: (exasperated eye roll) Um, on the the printer.

It really is an accident that "Nathan Isaac" has the same syllables and cadence as "Noah Hawkins", but it's been perfect because I know where my son's name fits seamlessly into all the baby songs I used to sing. It's also been complicated because "Noah Hawkins" or "baby Noah" ARE the words to those songs in my head. Putting in Nathan's name has been a little like learning a spoof when you can sing the original in your sleep. When it is late at night and I am tired, "Hush little Noah" is just as likely to come out as "Hush little Nathan". The first time it happened I felt bad all around. Bad for Nathan who was getting someone else's second hand song. Bad for Noah who's song was being passed on. Bad for me who was so far away from my big boy who I miss every day. Now, I just smile. After all, I couldn't love either of these boys more than I do.