Good, Bad, and Maybe Less Ugly

Here is what I think about exercise.
1) It's hard.
2) It takes time I don't particularly have.
3) The results are seen on the scale of D-E-L-A-Y-E-D gratification.
4) It makes me sweaty which makes my skin red and itchy and I totally hate that.
5) It's kind of boring.
6) I'm pretty bad at it which makes me feel inept which makes me feel bad about myself which makes me want to stop doing it and go back to something I am good at.

But here's the horrible Catch 22 (almost as horrible as that particular book, in fact): I feel terrible about myself when I don't exercise, too.  Last year, rounding on three patient floors, I often wondered which would kill me first the panting and chest pain after climbing one flight of stairs or the embarrassment from the above circumstance.

So, through wheezing and foot pain and scratchy skin I have soldiered on with this running program.
Here's what I think about it.
1) It's been hard
2) I do enjoy watching the Today Show while I jog.
3) I've gained some weight which is basically the stupidest thing EVER but I'm blaming it on the fat to muscle conversion (This happened last time I tried to get in shape too.  All my pants got too tight in the thighs before they got looser finally.  I think I share my father's predilection for easy muscle mass growth and it outstrips fat loss.  Sadly, I think I will never look lean b/c of all that muscle bulk.)
4) BUT, I was thrilled last week when I skipped up two flights of stairs with a pair of medical students, lecturing the whole way, and wasn't even breathing hard at the top.
5) And yesterday, I got out of bed with a headache and a total lack of motivation, went to the gym ONLY because I had promised Nate the night before that he could put money in the meter in the morning, and then had a great "run".  It was, for the first time, more jogging than walking, faster than usual and therefore farther than usual in the same amount of time.  And my headache was gone.  And I felt great for the rest of the day.
And I am actually ready to do it again tomorrow.