Nate was unbelievably charming this weekend. It started with Shabbat dinner on Friday night and never seemed to end. He ate well. He was energetic, playful, and even walked when we asked him to and rode in the cart (dum dum DUM) when he didn't want to walk. He took his medicine, cooperated in tooth brushing, and occupied himself while Dave and I did some cleaning.
So why did Dave and I come to Monday morning feeling like roadkill?
Because for reasons we can't exactly explain, Nate had a pair of really bad nights. Saturday night, moments after Dave and I fell asleep (literally) we were yanked from sleep by a screaming Nate. I scooped him out of bed and what ensued was "Exorcist" minus spinning head. He threw up more and more forcefully than he has in a really long time. When he, and I, and the floor, and the nursery chair, and a bath towel were all covered, he settled back in my arms and said "Yellow spill make Nate's tummy all better."
After the clean-up and the debate over the culprit (white buns made in a facility that also processes sesame seeds or Olive Garden noodles which we had previously confirmed to be safe - It's really the only reason we go there) we all manged to sleep through the night.
Sunday, the case against the noodles became firmer when he developed a hive on his cheek while eating his leftovers. Sunday night he didn't throw up. He just cried and writhed in my lap for 30+ minutes crying about having a yellow spill and heaving but not actually succeeding in making his tummy all better.
We're blaming Olive Garden and now that the gift card is gone, we are unlikely to go back - ever, but it's just a guess. I hate when he is sick. I think it's almost harder now that he can tell us what is wrong and I still can't fix it. He cries "Mommy hold you" over and over again, but I am holding him. It's just not making things any better, and that breaks my heart.
Maybe there's no food to blame. Maybe after a 6 week honeymoon, he's just having an EE flair. Sure he takes the medicine and seems to be so much better, but it can't be just that easy, can it? (If it was, when you decided to start a running program you wouldn't skip and entire week because of a bad cold, a bad call, and a grant deadline and then have to drag your tired self through a Monday morning run wondering why you let yourself backslide - but more on that later.) Kids who take their controller meds still get asthma flairs. Maybe when we kept him home from school last week for an almost identical pattern on Monday/Tuesday, we weren't preventing the spread of disease, but just missing the obvious.
Maybe it is just a reminder that even when things seem to be going smoothly, parenting was never meant to be easy and we were never meant to sleep through the night.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Times Two
Nathan is 2. Really, really 2. Frustratingly, charmingly, limit testingly 2. "What's that?, Right Now, and no" are his favorite words. Dave and I deal with it the best way we can. Team work, sharing the exhaustion, and the well placed time-out. Luckily he makes up for all of it with his charming smile and his hilarious statements.
Yesterday, when Dave picked him up from day care, his teacher lamented that he had not been very obedient all day. When asked to do or to stop doing something he said "No" and occasionally required physical relocation to get him to pay attention to what he was supposed to be doing.
Dave asked the (to me) obvious question "What did you do? Did you put him in time out?"
"No," was the answer "we aren't allowed to do that. We just redirect them."
Soooooo, you have a 2 year old being willfully disobedient and disrespectful and you plop them down in their favorite couch with their favorite book to "redirect" them? That sounds suspiciously like rewarding bad behavior.
Am I crazy?
Maybe.
I'll admit that I am terribly naive. I never asked about discipline. He was 5 months old when he started day care. I was worried about what they would do with the two swallows of breast milk he left behind in a bottle, not what they would do when he started chucking Legos at other kids. I mean, I knew they wouldn't beat him. I just sort of assumed there'd be some form of age appropriate consequence. Time out, brief loss of a favorite privilege, unplanned toenail trimming. Something to make it clear he'd crossed the line and it was not OK.
But no. It seems they are not allowed to do that unless parents specifically OK it. And I guess you have to independently volunteer your approval because I certainly never got any sort of time out permission form. I would have signed that in a heart beat.
It seems, after an informal survey of the folks I know with kids, this lack of consequence is the norm for day care.
It really, really bothers me that this is the policy.
More, it bothers me the response I got from another mom. "Well of course" she said, as if I was some sort of nut case "I don't want someone else disciplining my kid."
I don't think it is the day care's responsibility to teach my baby right from wrong. Our job as parents is to teach them values and to flog them with wet newspaper until they internalize the rules. I know that. I spent a lot of time and energy and waistline in search of the privilege of doing just that. But the unavoidable fact is that my child, and all the others in his class, spend more time with the day care providers than with us, the parents. They spend all day with this peer group, these adults, and it does seem reasonable to expect or to at least empower them to set limits and dole out consequences. It's not a wolf pack. It's supposedly an environment where children are learning social skills.
The developmental job of a 2 year old is to test limits. He's learning the rules of the world. Someone has to teach him those rules. The worst thing that can happen is for him to grow up thinking the rules don't apply to him (sociopath) or only apply in certain situations when certain people are looking. No wonder bullying is becoming such a problem in our schools. Children are coming to schools from day care where when they knocked a kid over to take their cookie the teacher pulled them aside and made them play on the computer to stop them from being mean.
Yesterday, when Dave picked him up from day care, his teacher lamented that he had not been very obedient all day. When asked to do or to stop doing something he said "No" and occasionally required physical relocation to get him to pay attention to what he was supposed to be doing.
Dave asked the (to me) obvious question "What did you do? Did you put him in time out?"
"No," was the answer "we aren't allowed to do that. We just redirect them."
Soooooo, you have a 2 year old being willfully disobedient and disrespectful and you plop them down in their favorite couch with their favorite book to "redirect" them? That sounds suspiciously like rewarding bad behavior.
Am I crazy?
Maybe.
I'll admit that I am terribly naive. I never asked about discipline. He was 5 months old when he started day care. I was worried about what they would do with the two swallows of breast milk he left behind in a bottle, not what they would do when he started chucking Legos at other kids. I mean, I knew they wouldn't beat him. I just sort of assumed there'd be some form of age appropriate consequence. Time out, brief loss of a favorite privilege, unplanned toenail trimming. Something to make it clear he'd crossed the line and it was not OK.
But no. It seems they are not allowed to do that unless parents specifically OK it. And I guess you have to independently volunteer your approval because I certainly never got any sort of time out permission form. I would have signed that in a heart beat.
It seems, after an informal survey of the folks I know with kids, this lack of consequence is the norm for day care.
It really, really bothers me that this is the policy.
More, it bothers me the response I got from another mom. "Well of course" she said, as if I was some sort of nut case "I don't want someone else disciplining my kid."
I don't think it is the day care's responsibility to teach my baby right from wrong. Our job as parents is to teach them values and to flog them with wet newspaper until they internalize the rules. I know that. I spent a lot of time and energy and waistline in search of the privilege of doing just that. But the unavoidable fact is that my child, and all the others in his class, spend more time with the day care providers than with us, the parents. They spend all day with this peer group, these adults, and it does seem reasonable to expect or to at least empower them to set limits and dole out consequences. It's not a wolf pack. It's supposedly an environment where children are learning social skills.
The developmental job of a 2 year old is to test limits. He's learning the rules of the world. Someone has to teach him those rules. The worst thing that can happen is for him to grow up thinking the rules don't apply to him (sociopath) or only apply in certain situations when certain people are looking. No wonder bullying is becoming such a problem in our schools. Children are coming to schools from day care where when they knocked a kid over to take their cookie the teacher pulled them aside and made them play on the computer to stop them from being mean.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Whirlwind Weekend
We had a busy weekend.
On Friday, Nathan saw the tooth doctor, an experience he did NOT enjoy. He does enjoy talking about how sad it made him.
On Saturday he had a haircut. Not a big hit either but at least, as he will tell you, there was no "yellow spill" at the haircut, only at the tooth doctor.
While out and about, we stumbled upon the protests for the public transit cuts and Nate got to see police cars with their lights on. That was a real winner. He noted that they also have computers inside. He says the policemen like to do A-astronaut (what he calls Starfall.com) and to watch Ming Ming (the Wonder Pets).
We went to the park for the first time this spring. Slide yes. Swing definitely no. Chasing puppy dogs - two thumbs way, way up.
On Saturday night, Dave and I went out and Nate stayed home with his friend Saleemah (who bravely opened and ingested the Devil-faced novelty hot sauce from the back of our cupboard and apparently almost died).
On Sunday we had an adventure to IKEA and to the biggest supermarket I have ever been in. Later we walked into Squirrel Hill for first-day-of-spring Rita's ice. The people watching was priceless and the ice was free. Nate had to wear a sweater and a ski cap to eat it, but that did not deter him from eating his AND mommy's AND daddy's.
On Friday, Nathan saw the tooth doctor, an experience he did NOT enjoy. He does enjoy talking about how sad it made him.
On Saturday he had a haircut. Not a big hit either but at least, as he will tell you, there was no "yellow spill" at the haircut, only at the tooth doctor.
While out and about, we stumbled upon the protests for the public transit cuts and Nate got to see police cars with their lights on. That was a real winner. He noted that they also have computers inside. He says the policemen like to do A-astronaut (what he calls Starfall.com) and to watch Ming Ming (the Wonder Pets).
We went to the park for the first time this spring. Slide yes. Swing definitely no. Chasing puppy dogs - two thumbs way, way up.
On Saturday night, Dave and I went out and Nate stayed home with his friend Saleemah (who bravely opened and ingested the Devil-faced novelty hot sauce from the back of our cupboard and apparently almost died).
On Sunday we had an adventure to IKEA and to the biggest supermarket I have ever been in. Later we walked into Squirrel Hill for first-day-of-spring Rita's ice. The people watching was priceless and the ice was free. Nate had to wear a sweater and a ski cap to eat it, but that did not deter him from eating his AND mommy's AND daddy's.
Note two-handed eating and spoon blur.
I needed to go back to work to get a rest.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
My Miraculous Husband
Some of you may have seen my Facebook Post that my application to apply has been accepted.
I am applying for a research grant from the St. Baldrick's Foundation.
Their fundraising tactic is to get people to shave their heads to garner recognition of pediatric cancer as a problem, and to fundraise along the way.
Dave, in a phenomenal show of support for me and for kids with cancer and for Children's Hospital, signed up to be a shavee. He raised money and then, on March 12, my husband became a cue ball.
I am applying for a research grant from the St. Baldrick's Foundation.
Let me tell you a little about St. Baldrick's:
It is completely volunteer run.
100% of the money they raise goes to pediatric cancer research.
The research they fund is judged to be clearly heading toward new cancer therapy to save lives.
Their fundraising tactic is to get people to shave their heads to garner recognition of pediatric cancer as a problem, and to fundraise along the way.
Dave, in a phenomenal show of support for me and for kids with cancer and for Children's Hospital, signed up to be a shavee. He raised money and then, on March 12, my husband became a cue ball.
As Nate observes "Daddy have no hair."
I think he looks like a hero.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Technical Data
This is Nate's. He did OK until he was 9 months old and then he "fell off" in medical lingo.
Now, at 2 years old, he is firmly back on. He's 5th percentile for weight (above) and height (not shown but equally impressive).
23 pounds 12 ounces. 32 1/2 inches. Head - large and full of brains.
******
He has been on the budesonide-Splenda slurry (his "sweet medicine") for about 2 1/2 weeks now and the change is marked. I think he must have actually been uncomfortable a lot of the time. Because suddenly, it's like having Nate in high-def with Dolby digital surround sound.
When we bring him home from school at night he doesn't want to whimper and cling to me. He wants to run around, giggle, make up games, and do a truly hysterical penguin impression. I think it's been 2 days since he burped and told me he had a "yellow spill" in his mouth. We have had a few very fun family evenings just playing. It's nice. It's nice to have a baby who is well.
Progress Report
Still running. Slowly creeping up toward a 5K but definitely making progress. It seems the longer I spend jogging as opposed to just walking, the less my lungs like it. But I suppose that's why albuterol was invented. Besides the wheezing and the unfortunate tendency of y headphones to shock me in both ears simultaneously, things are going great!
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
More words of wisdom
We had a big snowstorm on President's day. Nate and Dave made a snowman and rode the sled around the backyard. By the weekend the snow was gone.
Nate was very upset by the fate of his snowman.
"Melted" he lamented in the backseat of the car. "Yun melted snowman. Need more snow. Make new one snowman"
"Where," I asked him, "do you think we will get more snow?"
He pondered this questions for a minute, brow furrowed.
"Nate ask snowman! Snowman get more snow!"
So far we haven't seen a snowman to ask, but Nate does keep his eyes open for one.
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