Most of the time, that's how I feel around my little boy. Happy, grateful to have him, thankful for his easy going, sweet, funny, creative personality. He uses a new word every day and explores the world with such wonder, and a total disregard for personal safety. (He took a "big step" off the couch today and after the tears dried we agreed he should hold mommy's hand for all future big steps.)
The other part of parenting this little boy is a constant grinding anxiety. I don't pretend that my worry is bigger than any other parent's but his eating and growing or lack there of is a source of constant trouble in this house. We were jubilant when he was eating and gaining weight after we got the allergy issue ironed out. Almost 2 months ago, at his last GI visit we agreed he was doing so well we should wean him off his meds. Gladly, we did. Slowly, his eating has decreased, his weight gain has slowed, and lately he has been telling us about "yellow spills" (his word for throw-up) in his mouth. It's hard to know when a toddler is being a toddler and when he is actually sick. We have dismissed intermittent periods of poor eating as "being alomost 2" and we were probably right. But now, with the exception of two good meals, he has eaten next to nothing in over a week and hasn't gained any weight in more than 2 weeks. He's back off the growth curve for weight, and that's my flashing red neon anxiety sign. I know I'm not raising the Jolly Green Giant. I know we're not big people and he'll likely always be on the smaller side of the curve, but he ought to be on it somewhere. He ought to grow. So tomorrow we will call the doctor and ask her if she agrees that we should restart some antacids. Does she also think we should restart the pro-motility drug?
Tonight, because he did actually eat a decent dinner, and because we are always looking for an excuse to sneak in calories, we did this:
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