Guess What?!?!?!?!

I'm only doing a rose this week.

5 months 1 week

My Bigger Boy

I have devoted a couple months now to talking about the life of my little boy. I now want to talk for a minute about my bigger boy.

I met Noah when he was five months old. I was babysitter/friend/nanny/playmate/partner-in-crime for a few years before I moved to Pittsburgh for med school. I always talked about him so much that when Dave and I met, Dave thought "my boy Noah" might actually be my son. When I met him, he's didn't even sit up on his own. Now he's graduated from fifth grade and had a poem published in the Harvard Educational Review. I'm bursting with pride.

Of course, I've always known he was brilliant. He met just about every milestone early, and taught me all sorts of valuable mommy lessons along the way.

1) Just because it's in the book, doesn't mean it will work for your child. - I used exactly once the trick of saying "good-bye" and walking away when he was refusing to leave the place where we were playing. He was supposed to run after me, but three year old Noah looked up from his sandcastle, smiled happily, and waved. "Bye Nana! Tell mommy boy stay beach by self!" And so I dragged him kicking and screaming from the beach instead.

2) Nothing is better than being hugged around the knees and being told "You're my best."

3) It's important to keep perspective when a child tells you they want to throw you in the trash. Chances are you have earned their wrath by preserving one of their vital physical features. Besides, they'll be your best friend again soon.

4) Think of popcorn as a vegetable and it makes a fine dinner. Subtext: pick your battles.

5) No one can plan a felony like a pre-schooler.
Nana (Jen): How can we get one of these cool swing sets?
Noah: I can make some money.
Nana: (thinking employment) How are you going to do that?
Noah: (exasperated eye roll) Um, on the the printer.

It really is an accident that "Nathan Isaac" has the same syllables and cadence as "Noah Hawkins", but it's been perfect because I know where my son's name fits seamlessly into all the baby songs I used to sing. It's also been complicated because "Noah Hawkins" or "baby Noah" ARE the words to those songs in my head. Putting in Nathan's name has been a little like learning a spoof when you can sing the original in your sleep. When it is late at night and I am tired, "Hush little Noah" is just as likely to come out as "Hush little Nathan". The first time it happened I felt bad all around. Bad for Nathan who was getting someone else's second hand song. Bad for Noah who's song was being passed on. Bad for me who was so far away from my big boy who I miss every day. Now, I just smile. After all, I couldn't love either of these boys more than I do.

Fellowship - Day One

For anyone who's wondering what I am thinking this morning as I get ready for my first day back at a "real" job.

1) I'm tired because my sweet boy stayed up late and woke up early (almost as if he was trying to prove the folly of my ways)

2) I'm happy because I got up a wee bit earlier than I had too and so 15 more sweet minutes of sleep are mine in mornings to come.

3) I am excited because I get to go back and see all the people in the Heme/Onc department whom I like so much and genuinely have missed the last year. (I am going armed with baby pictures, of course.)

4) I am nervous about having to find my way around the new hospital. Despite the fact that Children's is home, I have no idea where I am going this morning.

5) I miss my visitors, the Wheelers from California, who selfishly went home yesterday and left me with reality again :) but not before a whirlwind tour of toddler friendly Pittsburgh!

6) I don't want to send Nathan to day care all day. I am more than a little nervous about how he will react to the change, especially since he was "all-mommy-all-the-time" last night.

7) I am now pleasantly full off Egg Beaters, Veggie sausage, and blueberries, so it is time to pour my coffee and go!

California Boy

Carnegie Science Center Story #2
Nathan was fascinated by the trains, but he smiled the broadest at natural disaster.
There is, at the Science Center, an earthquake simulator as part of the "Natural Forces" exhibit. It's a little cafe booth that you sit down in and choose your own earthquake (San Francisco, Chile, Australia). It then shakes and rumbles and rocks. The lighting fixture rocks back and forth, but nothing falls on you. Dave and I got in with Nathan and fired up a 7.8 quake. Though choruses of "Never, never, never shake your baby" were running through my mind, Nathan was smiling ear to ear and enjoying the ride.
I guess even though he was conceived and born in the Keystone State, there is Californian in him, nonetheless.

It's in the genes, I guess

Back in 2005, the day I graduated from medical school, my entourage and I took a trip to the Carnegie Science Center. It was a fun day of wind tunnels, simulated earthquakes, and meteor rubbing. Noah was the only kid in the group, but we all frolicked. The most fun, however, was definitely had by my dad in the miniature train exhibit. It's a pretty cool exhibit, running 5 trains and a tram car with scale replicas of many famous and historical sights from Western PA. The lighting changes over the course of an hour or so to go from sunrise to sunset to sunrise again.
Some months later, when my dad visited again, one of the first things he asked for was to visit the trains again. We weren't able to because it was closed for renovation and I am sure that was the low point of his trip.
Today we took Nathan to the Science Center and learned that besides hand shape and broad shoulders he has something else in common with his Buff Grandpa. He LOVED the trains. From the moment we walked into the room, he was mesmerized. He tracked every train as it came and went with an enthusiastic flapping of legs and arms. It was genuine fun to watch him study the little lit up buildings and the glowing trains. Though this time I was the only one making "choo choo" noises, he kept up a constant babble of "bwah, bwah, bwah". He looked from track to mommy, to daddy with an incredulous, "are you seeing this?" look on his face.

My dad is coming to visit in a few weeks and I look forward to watching them enjoy the trains together.

Fathers, Part II: The Wonderful

Last year I said I was blessed to know a wonderful father. Mine. Fun. Always present. My biggest fan. Enthusiastic. Always good to me. I have been lucky to have him around helping me figure out how to be who I want to be. I'm glad he gets to be around to know Nathan and Nathan gets to know him. The distance between us makes me sad, but hopefully it is a temporary one. In the meantime, we'll spend a lot of time at airports. Just like this. This year I know another wonderful father. Dave. I have explained before how I feel like he shoulders more than his share of the parenting load. He makes our son laugh like no one else can. I am lucky to share parenthood with someone who can make up a song about poopy diapers. I knew he would be a great father. I am glad to say I am right. Nathan adores him, and as you can see, the feeling is mutual.

Fathers, Part I: The Bad

I have mentioned before that we like to watch a few TV shows around here. One of them is "Family Guy". This is the perfect storm of comedy. A family whose characters never age. An intelligent talking dog who is understood by one and all. A "Pinky and the Brain"-esque baby with a homicidal streak whom no one understands except the dog. Spoofs, musical numbers, complete non sequiturs, and just enough of a plot to hold it all together. Sure, I've never understood the chicken fights, but the clip with the head of the maid's union is the funniest 10 seconds of TV ever.

I do have a problem with the show, however, and that is Peter. If he is an example of American fathers we should not be surprised that so many families are breaking down. He is an undereducated bumbling oaf who is always doing something he shouldn't. His children don't respect him and even his dog talks disparagingly to and about him. His interactions with his kids walk a line between oblivious disconnection and slightly taunting mockery. He often makes sexist comments but nevertheless, his affection for his wife is actually as believable as cartoon love can be, and he does have the good sense to recognize that she's the best thing he's got. That said, he is in a constant state of trying to trick her or hide something from her.

Now, here's the thing. Peter is funny exactly because he is stupid, racist, and misogynistic, but his comments, quoted to another in the context of a real life relationship, would be belittling and unkind. I don't pretend to think that anyone looks at the Griffins and thinks "That's the role model for my family!" but I do think that people quote him because they think he's funny. I also think that argument made against children watching violent programming holds true here. If we can become immune to violence, then why not disrespect and ridicule? Do we really want to fill our heads with people acting in a way we would not want ourselves or our loved ones to act? Even if we are mature enough to know it's just TV, how much does it affect our subconscious?

I don't know the full answers to all these questions but it is food for thought. I know that I think the show is funny. I know that I'm going to keep watching. I know that I don't want Nathan to watch. Lastly, I know that I am glad that neither my Dad nor Nathan's act like the elder Griffin.